I pour myself a little Chianti and fire up the computer.

What happens next is like one of those agonizing dreams in which you helplessly watch yourself move in slow motion trying to escape some torturous terror.

For two and a half hours, I search, and search, and search -- and come up with: a site whose categories aren't intuitive and aren't defined, so I waste time looking for "moderate" hotels when what I really wanted was "inexpensive"; a mapping misadventure that tries to locate Rome somewhere in Africa; a prolonged "Search for hotels" link that finally leads to "HTTP Error 400"; a hotel site that crashes my computer, twice; and woven through these, fruitless frothing hours waiting for pages to download and then surfing through lists that give me information about wonderful-sounding hotels but don't allow me to book them.

After all this and the bottle of Chianti, I eventually find three choice places, each of which -- when I finally reach the right informational page -- turns out to be unavailable for the night I need.

Inescapable conclusion: The Internet sucks.

Next morning: I call the travel agency I used to use and find that the phone number has been changed. Dial directory assistance and get a number in a different area code. Call and ask for the sophisticated, astute agent I always worked with. Person who answers says, "I don't know of anyone by that name who's ever worked here." Uppity whippersnapper. Tell her, "I want a room in Rome for the night of Nov. 4. I'd like to spend between $100 and $150 for a small place with some atmosphere, hopefully a somewhat romantic place, near the Via Veneto or the Spanish Steps. Can you help me with that?"

"Oh, no," she says, "we don't do international bookings anymore. Except for Mexico."

"Ah, can you recommend anyone who does?"

"Sorry." Click.

Next, I got the Italian Consulate in San Francisco to recommend me their favorite agencies.

Call the first agency, in San Francisco. Get a very forthright guy who says, "You want us to book a hotel for one night in Rome? One night only? Oh no, sir, we don't do that. Actually, we will do that, but it will cost you a $100 service fee, and I doubt you want to pay that -- it's almost as much as the room will cost. We will book a stay of many nights, or we will book a tour with air and hotel, but just one night -- it's not worth the work for us."

Right. Why didn't I think of that?

Call the second recommended agency, a large tour operator out of Sacramento, Calif. Woman who answers says, "Oh no, we don't do anything like that. We just organize large tours."

"Well, can you tell me the hotel you normally use?"

"Oh sure, we use the Accademia. Try them." Click.

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