"There was a world out there full of face-painting, bubble-blowing, bra-free girls and boys with flowers in their hair. So what was I doing in a laundry room in Pittsburgh?" Such is the complaint of Bobby Stark, the hapless 15-year-old narrator of Jerry Stahl's debut novel, "Perv." Stahl's grim yet hysterical Hollywood heroin memoir, "Permanent Midnight," revealed that, yes, the people who wrote "Alf" were on drugs. Now, trying his hand at fiction, Stahl employs his Woody Allen-
The year is 1970, and fatherless, aimless Bobby, who wants nothing more than to be the filling in a hippie love sandwich, is stuck instead in his pill-crazed mom's condo, having been booted out of boarding school for doinking the daughter of a one-armed townie barber and tattoo artist (after being nabbed by the father while searching for a lost condom where a condom shouldn't get lost and then literally getting tattooed by the enraged parent). Back home, Bobby hooks up with his kindergarten crush, Michelle, a lapsed Hare Krishna on her way to San Francisco. Hoping to "de-lame" himself, Bobby impulsively pinches his mom's money and joins Michelle on the road.
Up to this point we've been in "Portnoy's Complaint"/"On the Road" territory, with an angst-ridden, sex-
A couple of older longhairs named Meat and Varnish, wired crank-
Even without the dead-on depiction of the period, though, "Perv" would still be worth reading for its wry take on the teenage sensation of being perpetually in the wrong place at the wrong time with the cool kids just around the corner -- the feeling that life is "everything you couldn't see." Is it a great novel? No. Are the characters and situations hilarious and sad, poignant and empathetic? Yes. Although definitely bound to a time, "Perv" is a timeless tale of teenage displacement and, weirdly enough, star-gazing wonder.