I am divorced from a guy who had real problems with escapism and lying. I promised myself I would never get involved with another one like him. And now the man I've been seeing for about 10 months, a wonderful guy who my two little boys love, seems to have the same problem. He has a daughter whom he hasn't seen in about 10 years. When we started dating, he made it sound as if he had always paid child support and never wanted to leave her. Last month I happened to see an order for garnishment that says he owes almost $16,000 in back child support. I was extremely upset that he lied to me. He apologized and said that he had planned to tell me about it, but didn't think I'd be very understanding due to "where I was at" in my own child support battle. He explained that he had some serious health problems and was in the hospital for quite some time. He had no health insurance and was left destitute by his medical bills. He has since begun repayment and "does the best he can" to catch up on the back amount due. I told him that I love him, but do not trust him. He says he understands completely and that he messed up by not telling me about the back child support. However, we still see each other and he acts as though nothing has changed. One part of me is just too tired from handling my own divorce to help him deal with his problems, but another part of me thinks that this is a really great guy who is probably sorry for what he did. I don't trust my own judgment at this point, due to the constant lies in my previous marriage. Should I give this guy another chance?

I'm 26, have a stable job, live in a nice apartment, have a few bucks in the bank and a few people who are glad I exist. All my life I've run a straight line and done what was expected of me. Now suddenly I'm yearning for adventure. All my life I've dreamt about going to cooking school in Paris and swimming in the Cipriani pools in Venice, breakfasts in Brussels and evening strolls in Prague. I want to forget about the 401k and stock options and weep over van Goghs in Amsterdam and sip coffee in Viennese cafes. My friends and family tell me I'm crazy, but I can't get it out of my mind. If I don't do this now I'll never have the chance to do it. But I'm a little scared to give up everything to chase a dream. So what do I do, Mr. Blue?

I've been dating a wonderful man for just over a year now. He is sweet without being cloying and funny without being cruel. He shares my irreligion and my desire for a child-free, simple, aesthetically pleasing life. He cooks and is good with the cats. He makes my heart melt and my toes tingle. He's a treasure. But I have a nagging fear about the future: I'm a writer, just out of college, whose career is starting to go forward, and I've finished my first novel; and he's a musician (working as a programmer for a couple of years) whose music is stalled out, maybe because he has impossibly high standards.

I believe in his music and wouldn't mind supporting him for a few years to give him a chance to create. But in the meantime, will disparate success spoil our love? He is more the artist and I am more commercial. I dread the day he calls my novel "generic," and I also dread seeing him frustrated about his own work. (He is enjoying reading my short stories, though.) Am I being too neurotic? Is there anything I can do to stop my nightmares coming true?

About five years ago, at age 23, I had a three-week whirlwind romance with a boy and was devastated when he suddenly stopped calling. I pursued him until his disinterest was painfully clear and then backed off. I've had longer, more fulfilling relationships with other men since -- but every time I run into this boy, I'm shocked again by how very, very attractive I still find him. Apparently he still lurks in the corners of my head as some kind of sexual yardstick. Is this normal? Why can't anyone else measure up?