I'm a 29-year-old woman who's been dating a great guy for nearly a year. I love him and think he may be The One though he's two years younger than I and I've been around the block a few times more than he has. We seem quite compatible, and we've started talking about a future together. My problem is that in the last few months, my ex-boyfriends seem to be crawling out of the woodwork: e-mails, invitations to lunch and coffee, casual phone calls to say hello, from four or five men I dated in my 20s. I'm not sure what to do. I've always been on friendly terms with ex-boyfriends, and I don't want to shut these guys out of my life altogether, but I know it bothers my boyfriend at some level to know I maintain these friendships. He asks how I'd feel if the tables were turned and I don't think I'd like it! So do I stop talking to these decent guys? Is there a place for friendly ex-boyfriends in a committed, future-bound relationship?

What is your opinion on forgiveness?

I am a college student who has not spoken to my father for several months now and has hated him since I can remember. He was an alcoholic and gambler who threw away his life savings and who beat my mother often and severely and in front of us children, and sometimes beat us up too when we tried to stick up for her. My mother finally divorced him one year ago, and I immediately changed our locks, hoping to never see him again. Well, it's never that neat and easy, right? He has been arrested yet again, and now he is begging us for the bail money and emotional support in general. He seems pitiful and penitent, as he always does when he needs something from us.

My mother has no savings, so it'll be my or my older sister's money. We both said no, but she's trying to persuade us to give it to him. I don't profess to know the workings of my mother's heart, but I think he should be held responsible for whatever crime he committed. My mother thinks I am being heartless. I know with clarity that I will never, ever forgive this man. It doesn't mean that I don't feel sorry for him and his pathetic life. I do. And I believe he is worthy of someone's compassion -- it's just not going to be mine. What do you think I should do? What do I tell my mother? Father?

I'm 26 and have been living in Los Angeles for three years. My girlfriend and I moved here together to become famous actors. We got into the world of acting classes and auditions and the scramble for an agent and hanging around with other hopefuls, swapping industry tidbits and sharing big dreams. It became a lifestyle, and it was a lot of fun. Sleep late, go to the gym, run lines with a scene partner, wait tables for a few hours or go to class, then stay out late whooping it up with friends or stay home and work on that screenplay. All it takes is an audition a week, a couple of good comments from the acting coach, to keep the engine running. Then, the unexpected happened: My girlfriend got a part on a soap opera. It's not the biggest part on the show, but it has legs and potential for growing into something. She's making a lot of money, doing interviews with magazines, being recognized in the grocery store. Well, you hear over and over how when one member of a couple finds success, the relationship is doomed. I'm not the jealous type, but I know she is fresh meat on this show full of handsome guys, never mind in the industry. She claims that this isn't going to change us, that we're just going to live a little better; she says she has faith I will find work, too. I wish I could believe that. How can I prevent what seems so inevitable to me? I really don't want to lose this girl; we have a lot of years invested together and I love her so much.