And no, he's not going to whine about it. In fact, he's not going to dwell on the negative aspects of turning 50 -- like the weight gain that results from merely watching food commercials, or discovering random hairs sprouting from unexpected sectors of your body. Instead, Dave is going to make all of you out there under the half-century mark envious with a rundown of the advantages of turning 50.

For instance, you know all those newspaper articles about Middle East turmoil you read because you think you should? Dave doesn't read 'em, because with his eyes he can't! And you know all that energy you spend trying to look and sound hip? Dave doesn't, because after 50 it's hopeless. Random House Audio.

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