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T A B L E__T A L K

Which techno-buzzwords do you love to hate? Let it out in Table Talk's Digital Culture area

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R E C E N T L Y

Windows on their world
By Karen Lillington
On site at Microsoft's museum and shop: Where the Windows never cease
(02/09/98)

AOL's insecurity complex
By David Cassel
The online service can't even keep its own staff bulletin boards private
(02/06/98)

Let's Get This Straight
By Scott Rosenberg
Technospeak, part 2: A turnkey solution in every pot
(02/05/98)

The Net's new turf wars
By Rebecca Vesely
Domain name mavericks take their case to Washington
(02/04/98)

The little city that could
By Doug McLellan
Tacoma's power company rolls its own Net and cable service
(02/03/98)

BROWSE THE
21ST ARCHIVES

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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

-- Suzie Wagner

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Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

-- Jason Axley

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This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

-- Charles Matthews

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wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

-- Nick Sweeney

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ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

-- Mike Hagler

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First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

-- Simon Firth

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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

-- Howard Korder

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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

-- Bill Torcaso

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The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

-- Joy Rothke

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Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

-- David Ansel

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A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

-- James Lopez

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There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge

-- Rahul Sonnad

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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

-- Margaret Segall

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To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

-- Brian M. Porter

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You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

-- Cass Whittington

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No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

-- Jim Griffith

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Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal

-- Jennifer Jo Lane

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Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

-- Francis Heaney

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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

-- Judy Birmingham

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The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

-- Jason Willoughby

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Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

-- Len Dvorkin

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Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

-- Ian Hughes
SALON | Feb. 10, 1998

Charlie Varon is a humorist and playwright. His works include "Ralph Nader Is Missing" and "Rush Limbaugh in Night School." Jim Rosenau is executive editor at Books That Work, a home and garden software publisher in Palo Alto, Calif. Jim and Charlie are also co-founders of the citizen group Californians for Earthquake Prevention, and partners in Mockingbird Productions, which offers a full line of comic services.